Thursday, March 26, 2015

And now... a parrot faking an orgasm.

Found via BOING BOING




Is this for real? Rocky and I can't be sure.



Today PLAID STALLIONS features an outfit that would give Ron Burgundy a hard-on.

From PLAID STALLIONS


Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Otis Jiry's Creepypasta Crypt presents "You Can't Get Out" by S.E. Schlosser

From OTIS JIRY'S CREEPYPASTA CRYPT

WE HATE MOVIES is TWISTED!

From WE HATE MOVIES



On this week's episode, the gang hits the foggy streets of San Francisco to track down a serial killer with Ashley Judd and Andy Garcia in the totally macho cop flick, Twisted! Oh, of course we start with the creepy character actor from Se7en! How does Ashley Judd not figure out something's up with that wine? And how bad must Andy Garcia's apartment smell being near all those sea lions?! PLUS: Hey, fuck you, Delmarco!



Arnold Schwarzenegger in a heartbreaking tale of love and loss... set during the zombie apocolypse? This just might work!

From ARROW IN THE HEAD


PROJECT ROOFTOP gives us Stephen Byrne's take on DC Comics big three!

From PROJECT ROOFTOP




I don't want to go shooting my mouth off here but the trailer for GUN WOMAN is pretty intense!

From BLOODY DISGUSTING


Apprently the Old Ones will be awoken by the sound of HP Lovecraft spinning in his grave. Check out the trailer for CALL GIRL OF CTHULHU

From JOBLO



The trailer for EX MACHINA reminds us again DON'T DATE ROBOTS!

Found via THE MARY SUE



THE AGE OF JOHNNY 5 HAS BEGUN!!!!!! Only Steve Guttenberg can save us now! (we're doomed)

From io9




Will a man make a pass at a girl trapped in a glass? Yeoman Lowbrow of FLASHBAK muses on a pulp art theme...

From FLASHBAK
I can’t begin to explain it. Pulps (primarily sci-fi pulps) simply couldn’t resist having a dame encased in glass on their covers. Sometimes it was ice, sometimes it was an invisible force field – it didn’t matter, as long as it was a transparent enclosure of some kind. I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for this, but until I find one, I’ll continue scratching my head at the seemingly endless pulp covers of gals under glass...






At YOG-BLOGSOTH the kids are not all right!

From Michael Bukowski





Tuesday, March 24, 2015

The trailer for EVANGELINE aka "Die frat boys die!"

From DREAD CENTRAL


And now, because nothing is sacred, the first teaser trailer for HELLEN KELLER VS NIGHT WOLVES!

From DREAD CENTRAL


CHILLING TALES FROM DARK NIGHTS presents "False Prophet" by Joshua Hood

From CHILLING TALES FOR DARK NIGHTS


it's that time of year again. TIME FOR PANTS-SHITTINGLY TERRIFYING EASTER BUNNIES!!!!!

Found via BUZZFEED
















John Oliver is goddamn right! #‎ShutDownTheFuckBarrel‬ !

From Last Week Tonight



Voldemort is gonna funk you up!

Found via BUZZFEED


Dark Corners Reviews takes on SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS!

From DARK CORNERS REVIEWS


This latest outfit from PLAID STALLIONS needs more pockets...

From PLAID STALLIONS


The trailer for DARKER THAN NIGHT highlights the importantce of pussy control.

From DREAD CENTRAL


And now a musical interlude with the Devil...

From THE APPLE (1980)


The trailer for WIND WALKDERS promises a cabin in the woods, a body hopping evil entity and the possibility of a total party kill.

Found via DREAD CENTRAL


The Cold Inside (a serial novel) Chapter Forty-Eight part three

The Cold Inside
Chapter Forty-Eight
part three
By AL BRUNO III

Thursday January 26, 1995

A well-worn videotape of Hawk the Slayer was playing on his TV as Warren Talbot sat on his bed and picked idly at a bowl of chips. He hadn’t done more than nibble on one or two. Where was his appetite these days? Warren hoped his wasn’t sick, his father had always told him that being overweight put him on the fast track to stomach cancer. Warren didn’t really believe him because that was one of his Dad’s regular parenting tropes- stop picking your nose or you’ll get nose cancer, stop touching yourself or you’ll get dick cancer.

Warren Talbot had to laugh at that last one. If it that had been true there would be a special strain of the disease named after him by now.

A sharp pain arced in his abdomen, it ran from his navel to his heart and back down again. Warren rolled into a ball, kicking the bowl of chips high into the air. He hissed from the agony of it, “What the Hell?”

Then a terrible thought occurred to him, he looked around the room, “Tristam? Is it you?”

Warren staggered off the bed and steadied himself on his dresser. “It is you isn’t it?” He said, “What did I do wrong? We’re friends now!”

It felt to Warren like his belly was exploding. He looked down expecting to see a knife sprouting from his gut but there was nothing there.

Warren tried to take a step, lost his balance and fell forward. Everything in the room rattled when he hit the floor. His father shouted up the hallway, telling him to quit crashing around. Warren curled into a ball.

What if this wasn’t Tristam at all? What if he was finally getting what he deserved, the punishment for being fat? In this world you could be retarded or crippled or poor and someone would give a damn about you, someone would see you as a human being beyond a stereotyped caricature. But if you were fat all bets were off. You could get made fun of, you could be pushed around, screwed over or held back. It didn’t matter because you were fat- you carried evidence of your own weakness for everyone to see.

His mother came barging into his room and was at his side instantly. “What’s wrong honey?” She asked. “Did you fall down?”

“The Crucible of Damiea…” Warren spoke the words but didn’t know what they meant, didn’t know where they had come from. “Save me from the Crucible of Damiea...”

Then the power went out and strange thunder filled the air.