Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Lego Star Wars Meets Itchy And Scratchy!

Found via LAUGHING SQUID

That Ryan Higa is a real cut up!

Found via LAUGHING SQUID

Look out BRANDON'S CULT MOVIE REVIEWS is having flashbacks!

From BRANDON'S CULT MOVIE REVIEWS

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

The trailer for 90210 SHARK ATTACK might count as biting commentary but then again I am pretty long in the tooth...

From DREAD CENTRAL

What better place for a party than a cursed sanitarium? And now the trailer for EXETER...

From DREAD CENTRAL



Also...


This latest video may be too grizzly for some viewers!

From THE MARY SUE


MAC SABBATH? Is today the day for puns from Hell...

From TOPLESS ROBOT


And now RADIERS OF THE LOST ARK starring puppies and kittens just because damnit!

Found via BLEEDING COOL


Ultra Downy Jr is Tony Starch in IRON CAN! (Does @RobertDowneyJr know about this?)

Found via BLEEDING COOL

Monday, December 29, 2014

The trailer for EVERLY is Salma Hayek vs everybody!

From ARROW IN THE HEAD



That's his secret...

Found via LAUGHING SQUID

Let the dancing begin!




Otis Jiry's Creepypasta Crypt presents "Reflections" by Meagan Meehan

From Otis Jiry's Creepypasta Crypt

"Best News Bloopers 2014"

Found via BOING BOING

Otis Jiry's Creepypasta Crypt presents "The Lurking Fear" by H.P. Lovecraft

From Otis Jiry's Creepypasta Crypt

DARK CORNERS REVIEWS meets 'The Doll Squad'

From DARK CORNERS REVIEWS

Barnabas Deimos reads "Beyond the Wall of Sleep" by H P Lovecraft

From Barnabas Deimos YouTube page

The Cold Inside (a serial novel) Chapter Forty-Six part one

The Cold Inside
Chapter Forty-Six
part one
By AL BRUNO III

Thursday January 26, 1995


“So it is you, the Hanged Man”

“You look so much like your father. He would be so proud.”

While her two fellow prisoners talked Pam tried to wriggle her fingers and her toes but the electrical cord was sadistically tight. Her arms, like the others, were tied behind her back, she couldn’t see her fingers but knew they were pale and bloodless. She glanced over to the boy, stooped over the strange altar, the thing he called Chimera at his side. Was he praying?

“I think I saw one of your cronies down below.” Gawain said, “African American, ex-military I think.”

Pam looked to the other prisoner, he looked like a dead ringer for one of the staff at her school but it was crazy to even think that. Her ex-stepfather kept calling him ‘The Hanged Man’. When he spoke his voice was blithe, a complete contrast to the look in his eyes, “I don’t suppose you’ve got a force of Lambs poised to rescue us?”

Gawain shook his head, “No. What about you? Your files say you like to keep a rag-tag band of troublemakers at your beck and call.”

“I think that might be you guys this time.”

When Pam spoke her throat still ached from her earlier scream of warning, “We’re going to die aren’t we?”

‘The Hanged Man’ grinned at her, “Death really is the least of our worries at this point my dear.”

Gawain hissed at him, “You’re scaring her. It’s going to be all right Pam, I’ll get us out of this.”

The Hanged Man chuckled, “Victor was right, you really are terrible at this hero stuff.”

“Victor? Who is Victor?” Pam shook her head, “Who are you? What is going on here?”

“Well Pamela, my name is Jason Magwier.” He tried to offer her a hand to shake, then grinned sheepishly, “And your former stepfather Gawain Wight is actually a government operative.”

Pam glanced at Gawain, “Didn’t you used to be the school janitor?”

“I dabbled.”

“This is insane.” Pam started struggling against her bonds again.

Magwier scooted closer to her, “Your brother no longer occupies his body, he has been supplanted by a man named Victor Kovach.”

“Possessed for lack of a better word.” Gawain said, “Victor Kovach was a very powerful man, I know it may sound crazy to you but he had magical powers.”

Pam glanced over at Chimera, “I believe you.”

“As your former stepfather said, Victor was a powerful man. Politicians and mystagogues fawned over him.” Magwier said, “Even I liked him. He actually saved the world once or twice. He got greedy though, another closet megalomaniac.”

Gawain lowered his voice, “There are these... things from Outside. They’re called the Monarchs.”

“Outside?” Pam asked, “You mean outer space? Aliens?”

Magwier smiled ruefully, “They are as alien as you can get. They’re too big, too corrupt for this reality so they wait Outside, beyond the Maelstrom for their chance to claw their way through.”

Gawain said, “They’ve influenced things for a while now, making the world ready. They’re not here but they have agents and operatives everywhere. The human race is living in occupied territory and doesn’t even realize it.”

Magwier rolled his eyes, “He loves that metaphor.”

“The pair of you are simply confusing the poor girl.” The boy said, “Spiritual matters should be kept as uncomplicated as possible for the masses. Furthermore giving the condemned false hope is particularly cruel.”

Pam gasped and tried to back away. How had he managed to sneak up on them so suddenly? Ridiculous as it all was Pam believed them, there was something alien lurking behind her brother’s eyes. 

“Just let her go.” Gawain said, “Magwier and I should be more than enough of a sacrifice for whatever you’re planning.”

The boy shook his head, “I believe you overestimate your significance. You my dear Gawain are nothing but the very illustration of wasted potential, but through the Monarchs you will be transformed.”

“I’ve seen the Monarchs’ idea of transformation.” Magwier sighed, “I don’t think much of it.”

The boy raised an eyebrow “The Monarchs have something very different in mind for you…”

“I don’t suppose it’s a nice fruit basket or a box of chocolate crèmes?”

“Jokes.” The boy said, “Even now, he makes jokes.”

Pam asked, “Why me?”

“For this incantation to be successful- especially after so much time and turmoil has passed- the Red Offering must be as untarnished as it is potent. Tell me girl, have you ever found yourself glimpsing impossible sights from the periphery of your vision? Had dreams that somehow became portents? Have you ever known how a conversation would end before it even began?”

Gawain looked at the girl with disbelief, “Pam is this true?”

“I just thought…”

“You dismissed it, as all slaves are conditioned to reject the concept of freedom.”

Magwier scooted into the boy’s field of vision, “So when the Monarchs actually do manifest... are they going to get a chance to get a word in edgewise?”

“Cretin!”

Pam asked, “How can killing me make these things appear? It doesn’t make sense. It’s crazy.”

The boy turned back to the altar “Your death is merely a consequence of the ceremony. As I stated before something both uncontaminated and powerful must be sacrificed, this is colloquially known as a ‘Red Offering’. To make such a sacrifice here on the threshold of the Maelstrom itself will weaken the barriers just enough.”

Pam felt sick, “If my death doesn’t matter, then I’m not the Red Offering. I don’t understand…”

Magwier straightened, “Oh no. Of course…”

The boy bent back over the altar, “What could be more flawless and full of unrealized potential than an unborn child?”

Gawain looked at Pam, “What?”

“How far along are you girl? Two months? Three?” The boy began to roll up his shirtsleeves, “Now don’t tell me you didn’t know?”




Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Don't forget to have a Patrick Swayze Christmas!


How is there a glam rock group in a 1930's rural muppet town? Oh well.. RIVERBOTTOM NIGHTMARE BAND!

Michael Bukowski has turned his attention to the works of M.R. James!

From YOG-BLOGSOTH




LEAKED LIGHTSABER LUNACY!

Found via THE MARY SUE

Alisa Stern's Doctor Puppet in THE PLANET THAT CAME FOR CHRISTMAS

found via io9

We got your viral videos right here baby!

From LAUGHING SQUID

And now this...

Found via LAUGHING SQUID

IN THE HEART OF THE SEA has one whale of a new trailer!

From DREAD CENTRAL


What could be more Christmassy than a stripping gorilla? GLOVE AND BOOTS has all the answers!

From GLOVE AND BOOTS

Low techs gifts from WRONG HANDS

From WRONG HANDS


Another master-stroke from THE DEVIL'S PANTIES!

From THE DEVIL'S PANTIES


Alisa Stern's Doctor Puppet in THE PLANET THAT CAME FOR CHRISTMAS

found via io9

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Let's take another glimpse at steampunk Vampirella...

From BLEEDING COOL
As part of Dynamite’s new spinoff series from the Bill Willingham creation, Legenderry: A Steampunk Adventure, we get this first look at some of the interior pages from Legenderry: Vampirella #1. The four-part miniseries is being done by David Avallone and David Cabrera and hits comic shelves in February. Here are the first three pages from the book...



CHILLING TALES FOR DARK NIGHTS presents "The Paranormal Investigators" by Vincent V. Cava

From CHILLING TALES FOR DARK NIGHTS


Don't get so wrapped up in your work that you can't watch the trailer for FRANKENSTEIN VS THE MUMMY!

From BLOODY DISGUSTING



CHILLING TALES FOR DARK NIGHTS presents "Lumpy" by Susan Lester (As Featured on David Cummings' NoSleep Podcast)

From CHILLING TALES FOR DARK NIGHTS


Red Sonja wears pants somtimes? Does that mean I have to?

via BLEEDING COOL
With the holidays approaching quickly you may not have time to get to the comic store but still want something new to read. Here Dynamite has given us Red Sonja #7 by Gail Simone and Walter Geovani for you to read for free...



This fake trailer for MARVEL VS DC shows a battle that could only happen in the fevered minds of geeks like us!

Nice job Alex Luthor!


The Angry Video Game nerd takes on 'LJN Video Art'

From CINEMASSACRE


DARK CORNERS explores the film CHRISTMAS EVIL and the dangers of Santa cunnilingus...

From DARK CORNERS


Ascot What Your Country Can Do For You...

From PLAID STALLIONS


The Wandering Voice Actor adapts my story FOOLPROOF. Wow I get pretty dark sometimes don't I?

From THE WANDERING VOICE ACTOR



Aussies vs Zombies? The zombies don't stand a chance! Check out the trailer for WYRMWOOD....

From DREAD CENTRAL


A fresh teaser for PHANTASM: RAVAGER! And it looks awesome!

From DREAD CENTRAL




Somedays you're the cat, somedays you're the dog...


Saturday, December 20, 2014

The Cold Inside (a serial novel) Chapter Forty-Five part three

The Cold Inside
Chapter Forty-Five
part three
By AL BRUNO III

Thursday January 26, 1995


“I don’t think we’re the only ones to come this way.” Greg glanced at the path that had been made through the debris to the stairwell door. A piece of old police tape had gotten stuck to the bottom ofGreg’s shoe. He kicked and scraped at it with his other foot.

The dead man put his hand against the stairwell door, “The building’s shifting. Can you feel it?”

Greg glanced nervously at the ceiling, “What?”

“It’s all lining up like dominoes.” The dead man turned to him, “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Well, I am here.”

The dead man pushed the handle, the door to the stairway whispered open, “This isn’t one of your games.”

“Isn’t it?” Greg brushed past him. By the light from the fire he could see the stairwell was streaked and distorted, strange graffiti mingled on the walls. There were thick gashes on the steps, as though some kind of a wild animal had been loosed there, “Aren’t we scaling a tower to kill an evil wizard?”

The dead man cracked a little smile as he followed Greg. The door swung to a close. “Flashlight.” Greg said, “I left the flashlight in the car.”

“Just wait. Your eyes will adjust.” 

“My eyes? What about yours?” Greg asked.

The dead man didn’t answer.

Robbed of his sight Greg waited for the shadows to resolve themselves. He could hear a distant reverberation; it made him imagine long abandoned machinery sputtering to life. What kind of machinery would be running here? The moment they started walking a strange rolling sensation began to tickle his stomach

“Can you feel the shifting?” The dead man said, “Grab hold of my shirt, there isn’t much time.”

Greg gripped the fabric, suppressing a shudder at the feel of the cold flesh beneath it. The spinning sensation seemed to grow worse with every step; the building seemed to pitch under his feet like a ship at sea. Thoughts of the sea were a source of momentary comfort for Greg. He and his father tried to go deep sea fishing at least once a year, his Dad loved it so much that usually for weeks afterwards he was using ocean metaphors in his sermons.

By the time they had cleared the third floor landing Greg’s eyes had adjusted to the shadows. He could see the stairway was all ninety-degree angles but it felt like they were moving in an endless spiral. The patches of discoloration became full- fledged gaps in the walls, revealing hallways and rusted pipes. 

“Tristam.” Greg said, “I hear voices... whispering.”

“Nothing that can bother us.” The dead man mechanically scaled the steps, one by one.

Bloated amorphous shapes slipped among the shadows, oozing out of the cracks and gaps in the walls, following them, crowding around them. Misshapen appendages clutched at Greg, whenever they touched him he felt a tremor of desperation. The whispers became louder, almost shouts.

“God.” Greg said, “What are they?”

The dead man replied, “Souls.... Ghosts might be a better word.”

“That’s impossible.”

The shapes crowded in around them, grasping lazily. The dead man pushed through them easily. “They can’t hurt us. Don’t be afraid...”

“...I turn away from my sins and ask you to forgive my sins...”

“What are you doing?”

“Praying.” Greg tried to keep his voice from shaking.

“I told you they can’t hurt us.”

“I’m praying for them.”

The dead man paused and spread his arms wide, “Don’t bother.”

Greg felt a tug, as though the off kilter gravity of the stairway had shifted again and now the dead man was the center of everything. The ‘ghosts’ became panicked. 

One by one they were drawn to the dead man; they squealed in mindless panic, the sound resounding through Greg’s mind. “What are you doing?”

“Getting ready.” The dead man replied, “I have to fill in the parts he took as best I can.”

“You’re... you’re killing them?”

“Eat or be eaten.” When the stairway was empty save for the two of them, the dead man started walking again, “That’s the way of the world.”




Thursday, December 18, 2014

OTIS JIRY'S CREEPYPASTA CRYPT presents "The War on Christmas" by Jenn Collins

From OTIS JIRY'S CREEPYPASTA CRYPT

CHILLING TALES FOR DARK NIGHTS presents "The African Bowana Spider" by Vincent V. Cava

From CHILLING TALES FOR DARK NIGHTS

Artist Na Young Wu re-imagines classic fairy tale heroines...

found via i09




The trailer for IT FOLLOWS is enigmatic!

From DREAD CENTRAL


Who let the dogs out again? Check out the trailer for WHITE GOD!

From DREAD CENTRAL


The new Spider-Woman costume design will break many an ass-fetishist's heart.

From THE MARY SUE



“As much as I’m a fan of spandex and it has its time and place, I felt Jess as a character could move away from that for a good long while,” Spider-Woman editor Nick Lowe told USA Today. Series writer Dennis Hopeless also noted that the series will now see Jessica Drew avoiding the more fantastical galactic elements of the Marvel Universe in favor of regular ol’ detective work: “You’ve seen her as a superspy and Avenger and soldier. Now let’s see this person as an old-school hero...”

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Have you experienced 'THE ASTONISHINGLY INCOMPETENT SUPERHERO ART OF FLETCHER HANKS'?





Hanks was born in 1887. We know he was married and had a son but then packed up and left around 1930. According to his son, who is named Fletcher Hanks Jr., he was an alcoholic and physically abused his wife and son. We know that he was found, frozen to death on a park bench in Manhattan in January 1976, at the age of 88. Hanks’ work had two primary characters, “Stardust the Super Wizard” and “Fantomah the Mystery Woman of the Jungle,” and a host of less interesting characters like Space Smith, Big Red McLane, and Whirlwind Carter. Hanks used pseudonyms like Hank Christy, Barclay Flagg, Bob Jordan, and Charles Netcher. As Karasik points out in the video below, part of the fascination Hanks exerts is that he is a rare early case of a true auteur, a comics artist who “wrote, penciled, inked, lettered, and, I think, colored his work.”...

Click here to read the rest...