Saturday, July 21, 2012

(Recommended Reads) "Remember Denver. But Not The Killer." by Rich Johnston

...What he wanted, we don’t know. The TV, the newspapers, the magazines will tell us. Infamy? To make some kind of point? To become as great a supervillain as the ones we manufacture for entertainment? I’m sure we’ll find out.

He will be sentenced, he will be jailed, and the friends and families of his victims will mourn. And then we must do the hardest thing of all. We must forget him.

The gun lobby, the anti-gun lobby, the conservatives, liberals and libertarians, will all descend like vultures looking for the bits that justify their opinions and blame the deaths on others and they will find them.  If he was after our attention, he got it. Soon, we should do our best to deprive him of that...

 

 

click here to read the entire article

Friday, July 20, 2012

AWFUL LIBRARY BOOKS makes me glad I don't have a meeting with this guy...

(Insane News) The Goatman Rises?


From i09


Unlike Sasquatch or Ogopogo, the Goatman is a largely unheralded cryptid whose half-man, half-goat exploits are primarily confined to Maryland state borders. Fortunately for all you self-avowed Goatmaniacs out there, the Goatman has popped up recently in Weber County, Utah, where an unknown photographer shot him clambering near a herd of his full-goat brethren on Ben Lomond Peak. Park officials are uncertain if Goatman 2012™ (you heard it here first) is a hunter, a photographer, or just your run-of-the-mill man who enjoys dressing up as a goat...





PROJECT ROOFTOP has the Avengers D&D style!

From PROJECT ROOFTOP

 

 

 

 

 

 

My sympathy and thoughts are with the victims of Colorado theater massacre and their loved ones...

The heartbreaking news from Aurora, Colorado has left me a little speechless but President Obama spoke about the fragility of life so I thought I would let this song by Sting express how I feel today...

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Thursday, July 19, 2012

(Recommended Restaurant) Monterrey Mexican

I swear I make no money off this kids, I just enjoyed a recent visit and thought I'd give them a plug.

 

Monterrey Mexican Restaurant features authentic and traditional Mexican dishes. It is a family owned and operated business. Our distinctive menu offers classics such as our famous tacos, burritos, enchiladas and sizzling fajitas. Our combination plates along with newest recipes are by far the best you can find anywhere. There is one thing that Monterrey is especially known for and that is our famous Margaritas! Monterrey pioneered some of the finest Margaritas in the last decade. Our Margaritas have become a “must taste” for new visitors. Also, do not forget to check our large selection of Super Premium Tequilas...

 

 

To learn more about the restaurant and its over sixty locations click here.

 

 

 

 

 

Since it is everywhere else... here is THE DARK KNIGHT RISES ULTIMATE TRAILER!

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SCARY SMASH may be the feelgood film of the summer!

Found via TOPLESS ROBOT

 

The premise of this web series on Felicia Day's new Geek & Sundry YouTube channel is that it was "written by a kid," but I think we all know better; clearly, Joss Whedon spends his off-hours as the leader of a heavily armed, milkman avenging, monster-killing SQUAT team. You'll never convince me otherwise...

 

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Let's see how things are going at THE ABADDON shall we?

TALES FROM THE ODDSIDE: And this is what happened

TALES FROM THE ODDSIDE:

And this is what happened

by

Al Bruno III



What happened at the house next door was not my fault. I am no accomplice, I’m a survivor, and a victim too. Yes, some kids died but at least for them it’s over, I’m the one that has to live with what happened.


And this is what happened;


It all started when the state bought the house next door to mine and filled it full of retards.


Oh don’t give me that, you’d think the same thing if you woke up one morning and found a home for ‘special needs children’ had popped up on your doorstep. Besides having Downs Syndrome the kids were all orphans. Even worse was that most of them weren’t even American.


I like my quiet and suddenly that quiet was gone. Music, laughter and the sounds of idiot children playing assaulted me all day. This was no joke because I work from home doing medical transcriptions; if I can’t concentrate I could make a mistake and someone could die.


The only thing I did wrong in all of this was that I made eye contact with one of the little fuckers. Then he said hello in this thick slurry Mexican accent and like a fool I said hello back.


For Christ’s sake it was like feeding a stray cat. From then on every time I left my house I got a hearty ‘Hello’ from Slowpoke Gonzales or whoever the Hell he was.


The nightmare just escalated from there, whenever he was outside he called to me, he asked my name, he asked me if I had any kids or if I wanted to come to his house and play. I had to keep my office window shut. You see it faced the House That Dripped Drool and if he saw me working he would call and shout until I acknowledged him.


I didn’t complain to the imbecile wranglers that ran the place, not only because they seemed to have their hands full just keeping those damn kids in the yard but also because I knew that if I said something all of a sudden I would be the bad guy in all this.


Yeah I know, fat lot of good that did me. When it all went down I had to move, then I had to move again when people in my new neighborhood realized who I was. I’m going to have to change my name next. It’s insane.


I was never charged with any crime. Why don’t people understand that? I’m practically an innocent bystander.


See, I talked to my supervisor about it, his name is Jorge but he’s not like an illegal immigrant or anything, he’s a respectable guy, has a condo and everything. He told me that his grandmother used to tell him stories about Kara Muerte which I guess means Dead Face.


After I told Jorge it sounded like he had a really fucked up grandma he explained that back in the old country when people had kids that were really bad or really mongoloid the adults would chant "Cara de Muerte dice que los niños rotos tienen el mejor sabor" in the moonlight. That roughly translated to "Death Face says broken children taste best."


Nice huh? Well, after you said that the ‘broken children would be whisked away by Kara Muerte and made part of the retard buffet she kept in her basement. Although sometimes she just took normal kids too so I guessed she was just a general all around bogey man or woman or whatever.


I was sure it was total bullshit but I thought to myself that if these kids were from the same old country as Jorge’s evil grandma they might know the same stories.


So, when Slowpoke Rodriguez knocked on my door a week or two later to invite me to his birthday party I told him I couldn’t because I had a hot date with Kara Muerte.


The kid totally freaked.


Then I whispered "Cara de Muerte dice que los niños rotos tienen el mejor sabor" and that set him running, then he fell on his face then he ran some more.


It was a little mean I admit but I had work to finish and they playoffs were starting for fuck’s sake! What happened next was not my fault.


First off I never ever believed that this Kara Muerte was real and second I didn’t even say the magic words in the moonlight. It was barely dusk!


A few nights later I heard footsteps downstairs. I got my good golf club and went to see what it was. What did I find? The dining room all done up with candles, wine and incense. She was waiting for me.


Kara Muerte. She was tall and long haired and her face was cleft. Do you understand what I mean? It wasn’t just a cleft palate, she had a cleft face. It was like the whole front of her head was a mask that twitched and grinned.


She pointed a long, red-stained finger towards the front of the table. I should have run or fought or screamed but I was too terrified. I knew that if she had to call after me or scold me the sound of her voice would make me go insane.


Once I took my seat we stared at each other for what seemed like forever. She never said a word, she never explained herself, she never left a single fingerprint at my house or at the scene of the crime.


She set two trays down in front of me, both overflowing with raw, pink meat.


Death Face says broken children taste best.


Before she left Kara Muerte made sure my taste buds had learned every subtle difference.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

This version of NYARLATHOTEP is even better than the other two!

PROJECT ROOFTOP shows us Denis Medri’s Steampunk Spiderman!

(Insane News) Rush Limbaugh's Bane vs. Bain Conspiracy: Host Says 'Dark Knight Rises' Villain Is Attack on Romney

Images and article found via FARK.com

Speaking on his syndicated radio show Tuesday, the right-wing host brought up the Batman sequel The Dark Knight Rises (or as he called it, The Dark Knight Lights Up), in particular focusing on its main villain, the Tom Hardy-portrayed hulking madman Bane. With Mitt Romney's time at the investment fund Bain Capital (and the questionable time at which he retired from it) filling non-entertainment news headlines, Limbaugh tied the two together, casting some tough accusations at director Christopher Nolan and Warner Bros....

"...So this evil villain in the new Batman movie is named Bane. And there's discussion out there as to whether or not this was purposeful and whether or not it will influence voters. It's going to have a lot of people," he continued. "The audience is going to be huge. A lot of people are going to see the movie. And it's a lot of brain-dead people -- entertainment, the pop culture crowd -- and they're going to hear Bane in the movie and they're going to associate Bain.

"And the thought is that when they're going to start paying attention to the campaign later in the year," Limbaugh asserted, "and Obama and the Democrats keep talking about Bain, not Bain Capital but Romney and Bain, that these people will start thinking back to the Batman movies, 'Oh yeah, I know who that is!' "...

to read the rest of the article click here

Yeah brain dead people... huge moviegoing audiences but not your listeners right Rush? Well not only is your attack on a character created in 1997 idiotic... you also appeared to have created a meme!

Enjoy it you moron...

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Michael Bukowski's latest version of NYARLATHOTEP is even cooler than the last!

ADVENTURES IN NERDLINESS is just talkin' 'bout SHAFT

Now, I love Blaxploitation films. It is one of my favorite genres. So, how is it that I have let the king of all Blaxploitation films elude me for so long? Perhaps it was the notoriety, or DVD availability? I don't know, but after watching The Mack, considered by some to be the greatest Blaxploitation film, I decided it was high time I saw Shaft. 

If you have not seen this film, you probably know a few things already. He's the black private dick, who's a sex machine to all the chicks, and he's a bad mutha. There is a bit more to it than that. John Shaft (Richard Roundtree) is a private investigator in Manhattan (I assume Manhattan, as there seems to be a lot of old school, pre-Guliani Times Square action, and some Greenwich Village activity). A big time gangster from Harlem has been looking for Shaft, and the police want to know why. As there is a mystery angle to the story, I'll leave things there...

 

To read the rest of the article click here

Make a donation to my blog... it's kinda like Socialism unless you don't like Socialism because then it's not! (What the Hell am I saying?)

Make a donation! All money donated goes to upkeep and art and keeping my Goddamn lights on! All donors will be listed on the PATRONS' PAGE!


And with that done I return you to your regularly scheduled boobies and bad grammar!

Monday, July 16, 2012

(Insane News) 'Man accidentally shoots self in genitals, is arrested in Oklahoma City'

found via FARK.com

 

 

A felon was jailed after he told police he shot himself in the genitals while preparing a gun for sale.

Police were called at 9 a.m. Saturday to the emergency room at Southwest Medical Center, 4401 S Western Ave., where officers found the bleeding man...

 

 

to read the rest of the article click here

Here we go again with a new schedule change...

Ok... since Price Breaks And Heartaches is on a semi-haitus I am now going to post new chapters of The Cold Inside on Mondays.

 

Thanks for your patience with my reshuffling...

THE COLD INSIDE (a serial novel) Chapter Fourteen part two

The Cold Inside

Chapter Fourteen

part two

By AL BRUNO III


Saturday November 12, 1994



One moment he was watching Arnold Schwarzenegger kill cops the next he was staring down at himself snoozing on the couch. He must have been more tired than he thought. He spun in midair; Linda Hamilton and Michael Biehn were going at it on the screen.


Well that’s that. He thought.


A perfect end to a perfect Saturday.


He dropped back into the house, hovering over his body once more. He had never returned to his body on purpose. What did he do? Just fly back into himself? Did he dare? What if it hurt like it always did when he brushed against something alive and bigger than a breadbox?


What if it hurt worse?


Pondering his options, he drifted slowly around the parlor. When he neared the birdcage Cookie began squawking wildly, fluttering about and smashing himself against the bars of his cage.


The Hell....


Tristam hovered closer, Cookie became more frantic. feathers flew, food dishes where knocked over.


The bird sees me! Why do birds always...


The front door creaked open and Pam stepped inside, even in the dark he could tell that her cheeks were flushed and her hair was in a mess. She spied his body dozing on the couch and put her hands on her hips, watching him sleep.


She better not be thinking of putting my hand in warm water!


There was a roar of souped up engine, a pair of headlights receded out the driveway. Pam groaned, “Wake the whole house up Ronnie.”


Cookie was fluttering hysterically bashing herself against the walls of the cage. Pam glanced into the murk, “It’s Ok birdie, it’s just”


His sister gasped, “Who’s that? Who’s there?”


Oh crap. Tristam froze in mid-hover, She sees me too. She really sees me.


“I said- Who’s there?” She took a few tentative steps forward.


Tristam panicked, tumbling backwards through the parlor wall and into his bedroom. He stayed there a moment, he could hear his sister grumbling to herself and then trying to calm the bird. Cautiously Tristam inched forward, pressing his head through the wall. It was a strange sensation; the solid matter of the wall seemed to lap at him. It reminded him of lying in the bathtub with just his face sticking out of the water.


When Cookie had stopped fluttering and squawking she covered his cage. She stared down at her brother’s body while he slept. With a roll of her eyes she grabbed the comforter from the love seat and draped it over him.


Well I’ll be dipped. Smiling to himself Tristam sped up through the ceiling.



Click Here To Continue

FALSE POSITIVE brings us face to face with a goddess!


Oh baby! To see the full sized version visit FALSE POSITIVE


(Insane News) Chinese police rescue a blow up sex doll...

From KOTAKU of all places

 

 

On the evening of July 11, what looked like a dead body was spotted in a river in Shangdong, China. Eighteen police officers arrived on the scene, and over a thousand people showed up at the river to rubberneck. It became impossible for fire trucks to make their way though. Police worked for an hour to retrieve the body. Once they fished it out, cops discovered it was no dead body. Rather, it was actually a blow-up doll. According to reports, the police then quickly cleared the scene. In the police's defense, the blow-up doll certainly did look like a floating corpse from a distance and good on them for mobilizing so quickly to retrieve it. But, as the Chinese press pointed out, the spectators who gathered to watch the rescue were later amused that the police spent so much energy to save a blow-up doll...

 

FINALLY I have a chance to see the Solomon Kane film...

from TWITCH

YOG-BLOGSOTH hails to the King baby!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Watch one of the strangest kids movies ever! 'THE MOUSE AND HIS CHILD'

 

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And now some precious childhood memories from HEROPRESS...

'Bat Man of Shanghai'? Why hadn't I heard of this?

The MAN OF STEEL teaser poster looks very... tactile?

Some MARVEL MOVIE MADNESS...logos and concept art I mean...

From BLEEDING COOL

 

 

 

 

 

 

And some Guardians of the Galaxy concerpt art too...

 

(Insane News) Iowa woman declares herself US Senator...

Found via FARK.com

 

Iowa state Senate candidate Randi Shannon (R) "has ended her campaign and instead declared herself a U.S. Senator for the state of Iowa," the Des Moines Register reports.

Shannon "argued that the legitimate federal government of the United States was replaced by illegitimate 'corporate' government in 1871 and has been operating since then in violation of the U.S. Constitution. She learned this fact just recently, she said, and has come to believe it after months of research..."

image by FARK's 'andrewagil'

For more information about this deep thinker click here