Saturday, May 26, 2012

(Recommended Reads) Archive File F-0331K by FringeFiles

La Dia De Los Muertos...The Day of the Dead, a holiday near and dear to my family lineage and always a celebration that lasted well into the night. My father once told me that the dead were all around us, that their souls looked into ours and helped us find what we needed to become those who we ought to be. My mother held the firm belief that those who died wandered our world as guardian angels, protecting us from evil, guiding us through the world without missing a beat. Together, my parents taught me that every living soul transitions to death as a form of wisdom and collective gathering of intuitive knowledge...

 

click here to read the rest at THE LIBRARY OF SHADOWS

(Recommended Reads) THE WIZARD'S PROPHECY chapter 34

Ayalah’s cheeks ached. She’d been displaying a fake how-do-you-do smile for so long, she wondered if the expression would be permanently etched onto her face. Monty had introduced her to everyone he knew—and, as far as she could tell, that included every single person in attendance...

 

click here to read the rest

Is THE APPARITION Draco Malfoy vs Paranormal Activity?


From i09

Thursday, May 24, 2012

FELT is one of the strangest, darkest, funniest things I have ever seen.

From TWITCHFILM

Don't watch this at work kids...

 

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And now a DOCTOR WHO episode written by the children of the Ashdene Primary School.

Thanks to BLEEDING COOL

 

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Michael Bukowski brings us face to face with Lovecraft's Dweller!

Meanwhile, at THE ABADDON things are getting physical!

Previously on Route d'abbaye


The Nick Of Time (and other abrasions): Route d'abbaye Track Sixteen - The End

The Nick Of Time (and other abrasions)

Route d'abbaye

Track Sixteen

The End

by

Al Bruno III



Bit by bit, reality fell back into place.


For Lorelei it was like waking up, with each breath, with each blink of her eyes the world slipped back into focus.


Yes, there was her heartbeat, followed by the clammy feeling of the rubber and polythene outfit next to her skin. Next was the pain, the pain of her bruised face and aching gut but at least there was no one standing on her back.


The only illumination came from a streetlight shining in through a nearby window. Lorelei realized she had no idea where she was, but she also realized that since she'd hooked up with Jason Magwier such things were becoming a semi-regular occurrence.


She stood as best she could considering she was wearing stiletto heeled boots- one of which no longer had it's heel. Lorelei steadied herself on one of the room's many wheelchairs and tried to get her bearings.


Wheelchairs?


That got a double take out of her. The room was filled with wheelchairs, all kinds of wheelchairs; antique wheelchairs, modern wheelchairs, motorized wheelchairs and one wheelchair that looked like some kind of BDSM rickshaw. All of them were empty and covered with dust. “You have got to be kidding me,” she said.


“Ah-ha!” Magwier's voice echoed from the hallway, “There you are!”


It took some doing but Lorelei managed to edge her way around and through the tangle of wheelchairs but the missing boot heel didn't make it any easier.


The hallway was no better, just more and more wheelchairs. “What is this?” Lorelei asked, “It's like a traffic jam at an old folks home.”


“Help me here would you?” Magwier panted. Zeth was leaning on him woozily, one half of his face was a caul of blood.


Lorelei fumbled into the hallway, wheelchairs clattered against one another with her passing. “Is he all right?”


Zeth raised his head and glared, “Even for you that was a stupid thing to say.”


“Now, now,” Magwier chided.


“Why are you trying to carry him?” Lorelei said, “Just sit him down in one of the wheelchairs.”


He gave her a quizzical look, “Wheelchairs?”


“Oh for the love of Gaia...” Lorelei look hold of Zeth's other arm and jostled him into a nearby chair. She examined him in the hallway's shadowy light. “You'll be OK. It looks worse than it is,” she said, “but just in case...”


She ran a fingertip along the wound in the old soldier's scalp and whispered a few well chosen words from a forgotten dialect. The laceration began to shrink.


“Thank you,” Zeth's tone was both begrudging and grateful.


“My goodness,” Magwer turned in a circle, “will you look at all these wheelchairs?”


“How about that,” Lorelei sat down beside Zeth and began pulling off the stolen boots, “now where the Hell are we?”


Magwier paused thoughtfully, “Somewhere near Thorn Park I imagine.”


“And how did we get here?” Zeth was using the sleeve of his jacket to dab at the blood on his face.


“I suppose on some level we always were here,” Magwier wove between the chairs, studying the floor.


“Oh here we go...”


Magwier raised an eyebrow at Zeth before continuing his search, “We were here. Jack Diamond was in an empty theater on Coachwheel Lane. The Sallow Sultan was on the corner of Garabaldi and Moon. Dr. Flesh was on Haruspex Boulevard.”


Lorelei was clearing a path for Zeth’s wheelchair, it wasn’t easy and she eventually began grabbing the lighter ones and flinging them out of the way, “Even for you you’re not making sense.”


“Don’t you see my dear? Every thing and every person on Route d’abbaye came from somewhere else,” he paused and bent down. When he came back up he was holding one of the red phials. It was in perfect shape and glowing red, “And why? Because there never was a Route d’abbaye at all.”


Zeth put a hand to his temple, “As if my head doesn’t hurt enough. What you’re saying is impossible.”


“Anything is possible when you have four Serendipity Spirits in the same place. Four spirits working together. Four spirits that are in a sense the same creature.”


“O....K,” Lorelei said. The path to the door was almost clear. This was a hard idea to understand. It was harder still to believe that an entire street had been created specifically for this bizarre little adventure. But on the other hand, why was it suddenly becoming so hard to remember the details of Route d’abbaye? Why was it fading like a dream?


“The Serendipity Spirit wanted to be free so they asked me for help, I was only too happy to oblige... With a few considerations of course.”


“If they...” Zeth began then corrected himself, “If it is free now why is it back in your hand again?”


“Think old friend,” Magwier smiled, “these entities are beyond time and space so their one moment of freedom was all the eternity it needed.”


“So we risked our lives in a place that never existed for an adventure that technically never happened?”


“Indeed.”


Lorelei sighed, “We’ll talk more about this back at your apartment, maybe you can draw up some flowcharts or something. I think-”


A loud wet gurgling noise interrupted her, it was as though an enormous drain was regurgitating a clog and spilling over. A pained expression crossed Magwier’s features.


“Jason...” Zeth began, “How exactly did you defeat that formless hellbeast?”


“Heh... I didn’t so much defeat, as escape it.”


There was a splashing, geyser like sound then a crashing as though wheelchairs were being thrown every which way.


“Here we go again!” Lorelei began wheeling Zeth towards the door, “Run!”


*


The Demons of If turned away from the scene, knowing that somehow its liberators would survive, knowing that this was not The End. Knowing that the time of Jason Magwier’s defeat was still in the future.


But not far in the future, not that far at all.





Click Here To Continue


Can you spot the scenes from the latest Batman movie?




So... how do you like your eggs?

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The trailer for HOLY MOTORS is a big box of quantum cats!

From TWITCH

From dawn to dusk, a few hours in the life of Monsieur Oscar, a shadowy character who journeys from one life to the next. He is, in turn, captain of industry, assassin, beggar, monster, family man...

He seems to be playing roles, plunging headlong into each part - but where are the cameras?

Monsieur Oscar is alone, accompanied only by CĂ©line, the slender blonde woman behind the wheel of the vast engine that transports him through and around Paris. He¹s like a conscientious assassin moving from hit to hit...

 

BLEEDING COOL presents TOPLESS SUPERHEROINE BODY PAINTING!

I have no words for this latest outfit at PLAID STALLIONS, no words at all...

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The 5 minute film FUTURE INC. is bloody awesome!

from 109

Every year the Sci-Fi London Film Festival issues a challenge to filmmakers. They hand out bags full of props, a movie title, and theme prompts to filmmakers, and then give them 48 hours to produce a 5-minute film. A group of judges choose the winner, who will get backing to make a feature film. This year, they got hundreds of entries. The winner, "Future, Inc." by Future Tense, is simply incredible. What's amazing is that in just a few deft strokes, you understand these characters' motivations, glimpse some of the key aspects of their future world, and even get a fairly intense plot arc that's both funny and sad...

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Here are three promo images for THE DARK KNIGHT RISES and one that is not!

 

 

 

THE COLD INSIDE (a serial novel) Chapter Twelve part one

THE COLD INSIDE

Chapter Twelve

part one

By AL BRUNO III


Friday November 11, 1994



There were two lavatories on the fourth floor of the main building. The one that was closest to the classrooms and the one that was on the other side of the building where a few of the administrative offices where clustered. Bitter experience had taught Tristam that the further bathroom was safer- the stalls there had locks on their doors. I can’t believe I have to live like this. It’s like I’m in prison or New York City or something.


Bathroom pass stuffed in his pocket and the stall door locked behind him he took care of business. He wondered how much time he could waste in here before he had to get back to English class. They were talking about James Joyce’s book of short stories- Dubliners. They had each been assigned one story to read from the collection, the teacher wanted each of them to stand up before the class and give a synopsis of the plot.


Well he may have read his story- ‘An Encounter’ but he was damned if he really understood what it was about. A parable about two young boys that make the mistake of talking to a stranger that turns out to be a pedophile? A metaphor for some life lesson he hadn’t learned yet? The subject matter alone was going to get him snickered at for days to come.


Somewhere between standing and buckling his belt he started to hear a gentle whispering. The acoustics of the lavatory made it sound ominous, like the voices were coming through the walls to get him. Images of projectiles made from wet toilet paper and vicious wedgies filled his mind. He unlocked the door and got ready to fight or run or both.


Yusuf was standing at one of the sinks, his eyes half-closed whispering to himself.


No not whispering. Tristam realized, Praying.


He wondered if he should just causally walk past or step back into the stall until Yusuf was finished. He didn’t want to offend Yusuf, he took his religion almost as seriously as Greg did. A year ago... Tristam realized, A year ago I would have mocked him.


Playing casual seemed the best course of action so Tristam gave the toilet a hearty flushing and strode out to wash his hands. Yusuf’s eyes flicked open but he didn’t miss a single syllable of his prayers. Tristam washed his hands quickly and shook them dry under the blower.


After a final few whispers he looked up at Tristam “You find it safer here as well?”


“Quieter at least. Last year I used to come here to smoke. Never got caught.”


“I hope you are not angry with me.”


“You mean about yesterday?” He leaned against the sink, “No. It’s good that she has someone looking out for her. I hope that if the situation was reversed-”


“I would have said the same thing to her, or Greg or Warren.”


“Ah.” The notion made Tristam feel strangely nice. He never really felt included in anything; he always felt like a last minute guest, even when he was running riot over the school with the popular kids. Back then he had always felt like he was on the verge of making some great faux pas, but now with Yusuf and the rest he almost felt relaxed in their company.


Yusuf examined his reflection, checking his hair, “I think she is in love with Evan.”


Tristam laughed a little, “Every girl under eighteen seems to be in love with Evan.”


“Your sister-”


“-is eighteen.” Tristam glanced at his watch. Maybe he wouldn’t have to make his Dubliners presentation after all.


“I think Drew said what she said because of her crush. She was very close with Evan before seventh grade. Seventh grade is where things began to change.”


“Yeah.” Tristam cringed a little at the memory of that year, his thirteenth year. He’d thought he was going out of his mind.


“She had many friends, then they all turned on her. A familiar story to you?”


“A classic.” He made for the door, “Listen I better get going.”


“Yes. I can’t keep the study hall monitor waiting forever. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bring money we’re ordering pizza.”


“Oh that’s right.” Tristam snapped his fingers, “The game. I won’t be able to make it this weekend either.”


Yusuf frowned “Your father again?”


He’d lied once already to cover up a weekend grounding, should he lie again? On one hand he had the humiliation of being treated like a twelve-year old, on the other he was lying to the only friends he had. What if they started to think he was blowing them off? Better to tell the truth. He stared at his shoes “No. My mother, she grounded me.”


“What for?”


“Because my sister said she saw me wandering around when I should have been at the assembly.”


“You cut the assembly? And you didn’t take me with you?”


“I didn’t cut the assembly but my mother won’t believe me because of… You know.”


“I’m sorry.” Yusuf nodded with understanding.


“She doesn’t believe in me any more. Used to be she looked at me like I was her son now she looks at me like she doesn’t know who I am anymore.” With a resigned shrug of his shoulders Tristam stepped out into the hallway.


Yusuf followed, “I’m sure all our parents feel that way sometimes. I think it will pass when we are older and have bills of our own to pay.”


“I think I’m paying bills right now if you know what I mean.”



Click Here To Continue

If you're only going to see one documentary about 69 year old twin prostitutes this year THIS IS THE ONE TO SEE!

Of patronage and pawn shops...

Get out your crying towels constant readers because here is my sob story.

I hated having to do it but we  had to pawn some of our electronics to keep gas in the car. After all without gas in the car how would we be able to get to our jobs to make money to buy more gas for our car?

We were so close to making it through this month without a major disaster but here we are again.

So here I go again...

If you enjoy the stories you read here why not make a donation to my PayPal account?

Make a donation! All money donated goes to upkeep and art and much needed grammar lessons! All donors will be listed on the PATRONS' PAGE!


Any donors will be listed with all the other cool kids on THE PATRONS PAGE!
(and you'll be helping me to get our stuff out of hock!)

And with that done let's get back to our regularly scheduled silliness!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Is this latest artwork from Michael Bukowski a mythos monster or a... pyramid scheme?

An honest TRANSFORMERS movie trailer...

from TOPLESS ROBOT

 

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BUZZFEED presents manly men in manly slacks! (Also: Nick Nolte?)

Still Not Quite What They’re Looking For part eight

Price Breaks and Heartaches
A journal of retail and failed romance
Chapter Ten
Still Not Quite What They’re Looking For
part eight


“She’s my what?” I said. My surprised shout almost carried over the loud music of the backyard party.

My brother Phil pointed to the girl again. Did I mention she had frizzy hair the color of honey and pert breasts? “She is your latest conquest.”

“How does that work?” I asked. Even now I have never thought of any of the girls in my love life as ‘conquests’; it always seemed more to me like ‘cosmic mercy’.

“She thinks you’re cute,” my brother explained, “it wasn’t easy to find a girl here who did.”

“How wonderful of you to find the one girl with low standards and a stigmatism for me.”

“Will you stop it with the big words until Roy leaves?” My brother punched my arm, “her name is Michelle and I’ve been telling her all about you.”

I smiled warmly at Phil, “Seriously man you didn’t have to.”

“An I made some shit up too.”

“Seriously man you didn’t have to.”

“Now go talk to her man,” he pushed me in her general direction, “play your cards right and she’ll totally give you a handjob.”

I walked unsteadily towards Michelle. I was not unsteady due to the one third of a beer I had consumed, it was the fact I was blushing furiously and getting an erection at the same time. That kind of thing tends to make a man dizzy.

“And don’t forget!” my brother called to me, “her favorite band is Guns n Roses!

She saw me walking and grinned, then she did that little hair flippy thing girls do to signal that they’re interested in you.

Either that or they have problem dandruff.

It didn’t matter, I was going for it.

“Hi,” I said when I was close enough, “I’m Phil’s brother.”

“Yeah!” she grinned. She was a little bit drunk but since I was a little bit terrified I didn’t mind, “Phil’s brother Axl!”

“Yes...” I grinned back, “I am totally Phil’s brother.”

“It is so cool to meet you! He says you’re a writer.”

“He does?”

Things were getting even louder around us. A second beer keg had arrived and someone was using an aerosol can and a lighter to make an impromptu fireworks display. Michelle and I had to stand closer to hear each other. Her pert breasts pushed into my arm, “You write album reviews for Metroland right?”

“Sure.” I shrugged, “What the Hell.”

“He says you get a lot of free concert tickets,” she licked her lips when she said that.

Actually that wasn’t a lie, I could get a lot of free concert tickets if I wanted. My Dad had a lot of connections with musical venues that hosted more shows of a more ‘light music’ variety. Since I didn’t think the sweet young thing beside me would consider a handjob for a free Kenny Rodgers show a fair exchange I changed the subject, “Tell me something about yourself Michelle.”

“Well, I graduate this year. I’m gonna be a hairdresser. If I play my cards right I might even get a job at one of the places in the mall. Awesome right?”

“You gotta chase your dreams.” I was running out of things to say already, I had no idea how to talk to this girl. It had been so different with Tallulah and Lilly. I’d always had something witty to say to those two and God bless them they’d almost always laughed at my material.

“I also give bikini waxes,” she said, “it’s gonna be the next big thing.”

“Really?” I didn’t think much of what she said then but now I realize Michelle had been on the cutting edge of the pubic paradigm. “Sounds painful.”

“No! It doesn’t hurt at all if you do it quick enough and best part of all there’s no shaving bumps.”

“If you say so,” I nodded.

“Sure. I do it all the time. All I’ve got is like a little landing strip down there,” she waited for my eyes to widen, then she licked her lips again, “Wanna see?”

“I’m... you’re... we...” Now I was really blushing and my hard on was trying to do its best Lou Ferigno impression. A thousand things were going through my mind. This girl really was ready to go but was I? It sounded to me like this she wanted to go all the way and that sounded to me a lot better than a handjob; because after all wasn’t a handjob just outsourcing your masturbation?

I gave her my most seductive stare, “Do you wanna go to my car?”

Michelle’s grin faltered and before I could ask her what was wrong she turned and bolted into the woods behind the house.

My fragile ego began to crumble but then I realized all the other party goers were running for the woods. I looked around for my brother but he was already gone. In fact the backyard had emptied out completely, in a matter of seconds I was the only party goer there.

Yep.

Just me and the two police officers. We looked at each other for a moment and then one of them asked, “Son, are these beer kegs yours?”
The End

Sunday, May 20, 2012

You can check in anytime you want to THE ABADDON but you can never leave!

Ok... been re-visiting a lot of my favorite webcomics lately, and discovering some new ones to boot.

Koren Shadmi’s THE ABADDON is one I've been following for a while and it just keeps getting better and better. It reminds me of Neil Gaiman's work in  a lot of ways. And the early seasons of LOST too...

 

The story of THE ABADDON starts here