5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and One
'Nietzsche' All Natural Male Enhancement drug, because that what does not kill us makes us longer...
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Two
Karl jumped at the chance to spend the night with a pair of sexy twins; he never thought to ask if they might be conjoined.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Three
A lot of people didn't like the idea of Lucy living with her parents but the family mausoleum was roomy and she saved money on rent.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Four
The shouting contest was on a Tuesday but he showed up on Wednesday. A day late and a holler short.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Five
It was a question every super hero on patrol faced- do they relieve themselves in an alley or used a risk using a public restroom?
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Six
There were a dozen deaths and a fire that claimed half the jungle but by God Abner Deggent got his lucky tie clip back.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Seven
In the 21st Century the newest death-defying extreme sport became making fun of major religions via cartoons.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eight
The weirdest thing about the indie rock band 'The Fifty Fingers' is that it has seven members.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Nine
He always knew he would see her again, he just expected something more romantic than a paternity suit would bring them together.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Ten
It was then that Reverend Brooks realized that being a right-wing anti-gay activist was a fantastic way to pick up guys.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eleven
On his birthday Dave parachuted into Sturgis in a BIKERS ARE PUSSIES t-shirt. For those last few minutes he never felt more alive.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twelve
Zeth knew it was springtime in the city of Olathoe when revolutionaries began to sprout up everywhere, like dandelions in bad hats.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirteen
The Maven didn't like views of the villain called the Creationist but she had to admit his crimes were intelligently designed.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fourteen
Dagorax was a mad god gnawing mindlessly at the very fabric of the universe and it never, ever flossed
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fifteen
"If there is one thing I've learned it's that while marriage may be a lot of work it still isn't as much work as hiding a body."
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Sixteen
She was a magical princess, animals followed her and doted on her; her family learned to love the taste of venison and rabbit.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Seventeen
The DM in the back said everyone attack and it turned into a Balrog blitz.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eighteen
Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows everywhere- this was the last time the team let Amazing Ed decorate their secret base.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Nineteen
The gunshot was deflected by the bag of macadamias in his pocket leaving Abner Deggent glad the bullet only grazed his nut sack.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty
The Legion of Protectors were the first super hero team to recognize the awesome power of marketing.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty One
When Karl asked her if she liked crabs she just assumed he was going to take her out to a nice seafood restaurant.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Two
Once network execs realized the living dead watched television a 24 hour Jay Leno channel was the inevitable consequence.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Three
Captain Hero had to admit that his encounter with the villain known as 'the Stain' had left quite an impression.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Four
When the Wolf Man found out his wife was having an affair with one of the Cat People the fur flew.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Five
There was raw sewage in the copier room, an intern was on fire and the boss was off his meds. It was going to be a long Friday.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Six
It was in the early years of the 21st century that the epic story of Man vs Nature began to resemble torture porn.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Seven
Everyone realized that cyborg superhero Rusty Johnson was in love when the saw him spot welding Erato's name on his own arm.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Eight
Abner Deggent bragged he had snapped the necks of at least one major species on each continent- sometimes even in self defense.
Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Nine
Everyone said he died doing what he loved. Nobody said he had been crushed trying to steal a Japanese used panty vending machine.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty
Trixie's Treats served the finest pies in all of Texas. Her secret? She always remembered the Ala Mode.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty One
He had heard about that new gel that heightened female arousal and simply assumed there was jewelry at the bottom of the container.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Two
A wizard scattered the king's army through time, many were stranded in small groups but was only one Knight in Bangkok.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Three
Karl learned early on that there was no cologne in the world that could mask the scent of horny desperation.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Four
The Bimbo Marionette was popular on the Island of Misfit Toys- because she was always up for sex with no strings attached.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Five
One kingdom was controlled by Lord Murphy, the other by Sir Layman. Peasants had to chose between Murphy's rule or Layman's terms.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Six
In her sermon she explained that the savior was actually made from vegetable matter.
Then she said "Lettuce pray."
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Seven
Whenever Captain Hero crossed paths with the evil chef Julia Infant he mocked her half-baked schemes.
Was he just egging her on?
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Eight
He owed his career as a proctologist to his brilliant mind. He owed several lawsuits to his lack of depth perception.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Nine
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, unless of course you're a vampire.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty
Cyborg superhero Rusty Johnson accidentally swallowed bullets and then spent the night projectile vomiting projectiles.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty One
It turned him on to dress up as a fly. He had a shoo fetish.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Two
"I think there should be a fancy term for gratuitous nudity or incongruous sex scenes- Deus Ex Whackinov."
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Three
At last the aviary was complete! Now she could spend as much time as she wanted holding her boobies and stroking her tits.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Four
If anything Sir Grundle's hemorrhoids only increased his fury as he rode in to battle.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Five
One of the bloodied executives looked up from the dismembered body and asked, "Tell me again how this serves our core values?"
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Six
"It doesn't matter if you're a space knight, a super hero or a mystical warrior- you're wearing someone's idea of fetish gear.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Seven
Horthgar the Viking really hated ninjas, some suspected he had a case of katana envy.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Eight
Budget cuts forced the starship's councilor to also act as the starship's bartender- she usually advised her patients to drink more
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Nine
The invention of the first suit of hi-tech battle armor was the result of Texans trying to create larger and larger belt buckles.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fifty
Judges for wet t-shirt contests must be willing to work late hours for no pay, despite that many men still answer the call.
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