5 Second Fiction Six Hundred And Fifty One Through Seven Hundred

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Fifty One

Rex struggled to recall the name of the girl he had almost gotten the third base with but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Fifty Two

Amazing Ed explained to the kids that superheroes hid their identities to protect their loved ones, just like strippers.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Fifty Three

Costumes with sculpted rubber and latex muscles might be all the rage but Captain Hero still did sit ups every morning.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Fifty Four

Thane was not afraid of combat because death meant nothing to him and he was not afraid of magic because he had no imagination.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Fifty Five

Very few have mastered the art of making erotic potholders, even fewer will admit to it in polite company.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Fifty Six

All good things must come to an end which is why Billy's accordion recital seemed to go on forever.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Fifty Seven

It wasn't until Karl placed a personal ad looking for a girl with a 'nice rack' that he learned how many dominatrixes were in town.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Fifty Eight

The ninjas had him cornered in an onion field and Fuego just knew it was all going to end in tears.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Fifty Nine

There was no comfort for him, not even in sleep because the darkness behind his eyelids seemed too much like death.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Sixty

Erato quickly learned that, goddess or not, fighting super villains, in her toga was a recipe for disaster... and nudity.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Sixty One

Stan found he got more respect around the office if he began every conversation with the term “Foolish mortal!”

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Sixty Two

Karl prided himself on his perfect recall and pornographic memory and that isn't a misprint.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Sixty Three

For every successful adventurer like Indiana Jones there is a tragedy like the case of Dysentery Smith.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Sixty Four

Jeff's journey brought him to a town where conflicts were still solved the 1980's way – with contests of skill and breakdancing.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Sixty Five

Brazloe tried to intimidate his enemies into leaving by tasering himself, once he lost control of his bowels they did.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Sixty Six

Cyborg hero Rusty Johnson caught the alien sausage factory as it began to collapse on the school bus, suddenly he got an itch.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Sixty Seven

One after the other the grateful school children hugged cyborg hero Rusty Johnson, later he realized one had stolen his wallet.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Sixty Eight

By the time he worked up the nerve to share his feelings with her, she was already sharing her feelings with someone else.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Sixty Nine

The serial killer worked in a discount store and only killed people born under the sign of the fish- he was always slashing Pisces.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Seventy

His affair with the girl from Macy's began as entertainment but quickly moved in to domestics.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Seventy One

Torn between science and religion Stan worried that he worsened global warming every time he touched himself.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Seventy Two

Many writers sell their souls to the Devil but in doing so they become editors.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Seventy Three

The advertisement read 'Erotic Fireplace' and it was obviously a typo- despite that a new fetish was born.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Seventy Four

100 years in the future a flu virus began traveling and mutating via the medium of bad movies; the MANOS strain killed thousands.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Seventy Five

Reading movie and comic book blogs gave him a nightmare about Mario Bava directing a film about Aquaman called 'KRILL BABY KRILL'

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Seventy Six

The only thing more dangerous than a vampire with a foot fetish is a zombie on a moped.”

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Seventy Seven

In the future technology will be indistinguishable from magic, but no one ever needs to reboot a magic wand.

Second Fiction Six Hundred and Seventy Eight

How many hours of decadence are left until the Mayan Apocalypse?

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Seventy Nine

As a young man your orgasms are explosive and your bowel movements are relatively dry, as you grow older this slowly reverses.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Eighty

Like most supervillains he was color blind and obsessive compulsive.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Eighty One

Corporate decided to reduce staff without severance packages by 'accidentally' releasing wild bears into selected office buildings.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Eighty Two

The peace talks broke down when no one could settle on what style of barbecue sauce would be used at the cookout.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Eighty Three

The superhero team decided that buying a private jet was better than trying to get a viking and a cyborg through airport security.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Eighty Four

Hospitalizations are like wars; a sudden outbreak of chaos and fear followed by a period of slow economic recovery.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Eighty Five

Audra DiMico collected conspiracy theories the way other girls collected plastic unicorns.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Eighty Six

They were Clown Scare Investigators but had to change their stationary because the name CSI was already taken.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Eighty Seven

"The difference between a go-go dancer and a stripper is measured by the depth of her thong and the emptiness of your wallet."

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Eighty Eight

Scientists are working on an equation to correlate the relationship between children's' bedtimes and when they actually go to sleep.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Eighty Nine

Most of Zeth's anecdotes ended with the words- "Then I shot him." but no had the nerve to complain about it.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Ninety

The Local Heroes tracked down the Invisible Zeppelin by listening for the sound of birds whacking into the side of it.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Ninety One

Captain Hero returned home to find crime rampant, property values down and the toilet in his secret base hopelessly plugged.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Ninety Two

"The only thing worse than being blogged about is not being blogged about."

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Ninety Three

With a time machine you can truly enjoy a month of Sundays but one Tuesday a week is still more than enough.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Ninety Four

The only thing that made stake outs bearable for Special Agent Mario Krump was his Ez Bake Oven with car port adapter.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Ninety Five

Abner held up the vampire's chamberpot and said, "It's a dead man's potty!"

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Ninety Six

Magwier claimed that the secret for remaining incognito was never to order Chinese take out from the same place twice.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Ninety Seven

Most ATMs have significant cash memory.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Ninety Eight

No one wanted anything to do with the Tooth Fairy's sadistic cousin the Finger Leprechaun.

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Ninety Nine

Their lovemaking was ruined when the smooth jazz station playing on the radio suddenly changed formats to all polkas all the time.

5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred

She had memorized the names of all the divine messengers perfectly, you could say she was angel retentive.