5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and One
Fuego's conversation about grooming with Amazing Ed became an argument about whether or not excessive nose hair was a superpower.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Two
For Magwier there was no WHEN, there was no SOON; there was only a never ending chaos of NOW and IF.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Four
She tried to shake it like a Polaroid picture but nothing had developed yet...
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Five
Captain Hero turned to Amazing Ed, “What the Hell kind of a power is 'Sonic Vision'?”
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Six
All the super villains wanted to team up with Laserface- The Man With The Hologram Head because his name was so damn cool.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Seven
The waters of the grotto in the Playboy Mansion spawned the first Shoggoth in 10,000 years- and it had herpes.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Eight
It wasn't that he was a bad comedian, he just needed the vegetables.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Nine
He promised her he would wait for her until she came back; he didn't promise her he would wait alone.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Ten
Christmas was his favorite time of the year to go door to door telling kids there was no Santa Claus.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Eleven
She only spoke perfect French when she was orgasming, these days all her husband could do was give her a slight accent.
5 Second Ficton Seven Hundred and Twelve
"Can we play CSI?" my kid asked.
I said "Sure"
And now my keyboard is covered with flour.
5 Second Ficton Seven Hundred and Thirteen
A TV show was created that instilled good feelings and world peace. Since it was on FOX it was canceled immediately.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Twelve
It was a classic online romance; their emails were elaborate, their tweets were ribald and their webcams were soft focus only.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Thirteen
It was tradition that Fuego never remove his sacred luchador mask, it made undercover work nearly impossible.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Fourteen
The gym teacher could fly, the guidance councilor was an alien and the truant officer was a ninja; super hero academy was tough.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Fifteen
After repelling one invasion after another Rusty Johnson finally figured out why the aliens kept attacking - they were assholes.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Sixteen
12/01/2019 was the day that real light sabers were made available to the buying public. "Begun the Nerd Wars have."
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Seventeen
Erato stopped being a muse in favor of being a crimefighter - no more hours of listening to demo tapes for her!
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Eighteen
Amazing Ed's quest to capture the villain called Sandstorm during a blackout was his darkest and grittiest adventure.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Nineteen
He was a stunt pilot that had been left standing at the altar twice, you could say he had a history of near Mrs.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Twenty
As the network failed Corporate tried to get through to IT but Dave from IT was busy Twitterng about how quiet things were today.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Twenty One
“The World Eater is coming,” Captain Hero said. “He's already eaten a planet and it didn't agree with him. This could get messy.”
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Twenty Two
Struggling to escape the nerhu straitjacket Psychotic Kid realized that Fadman was using CB radios to control his army of Furbies.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Twenty Three
For Major Kurthers the worst thing about being in the trenches was Private Jenkins farts; they smelled just like mashed potatoes.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Twenty Four
In his struggle to not become the kind of man his father was he ended up as something for worse.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Twenty Five
All his siblings and cousins had bowel disorders, it brought a new meaning to the phrase "Runs in the family."
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Twenty Six
The low point of Dr. Posideion's career was mistaking the sound of a porn star with laryngitis for the cry of a wounded porpoise.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Twenty Seven
Special Agent Krump spent days searching for a cross dressing albino before he realized the sketch artist had it in for him.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Twenty Eight
Writing slashfic during his lunch hour didn't get Dave fired, accidentally emailing 'Red Shirts and Pink Parts' to the CEO did.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Twenty Nine
Years ago she had told him he was all that and a bag of chips, now she realized she should have told him to lay off the chips
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Thirty
Like all great men he had a great women behind him- to find him find his keys, his wallet, his glasses...
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Thirty One
By the time Ken learned the warranty on his hip replacement didn't cover booty shaking related damage it was far too late...
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Thirty Two
There were many bills introduced to outlaw time machines but each one ended with legislator's parents never having met.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Thirty Three
Techno-Pimp spent long hours perfecting his iWhore app but it was always one bug or virus after another.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Thirty Four
No one ever suspected Mrs. Butterworth's scandalous past as Lady Marmalade.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Thirty Five
In retrospect Colin realized he should have mentioned his priapism to the people hiring department store Santas.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Thirty Six
They called her 'Lady Napalm' because she had a way of inflaming your privates.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Thirty Seven
Many superheroes cheated death but no superhero ever came back after a public beatdown from the Legion Of Evil Ballerinas.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Thirty Eight
Mom wrapped the Christmas gifts with the zeal of a pissed off dominatrix.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Thirty Nine
Every year hundreds of teenage werewolves are killed while trying to light their farts.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Forty
Scientists eventually realized that never ending arguments about global warming significantly increased global warming.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Forty One
A lifetime ago he broke her heart, a lifetime later he was heartbroken with regrets.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Forty Two
Zack immersed himself in all aspects of social networking until he finally confirmed people just didn't like him.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Forty Three
His friends and his pornography had trained him to expect that part of a woman’s body to be shaved clean, or at least artistically.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Forty Four
A serial killer had left Agent Quinn claustrophobic, Agent Krump's gunfight at Krispy Kreme left him with a fear of sprinkles.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Forty Five
Their 5 year mission at an end the crew of the Starship Persea returned home brimming with tales of adventure and alien parasites.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Forty Six
It wasn't the first time Karl had spent all night buying drinks for women of loose morals and questionable dentistry.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Forty Seven
Enticed by our television transmissions the horny aliens came to Earth only to learn they had been watching all the wrong channels.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Forty Eight
Kid-friendly super hero Mr. Nice Guy's team up with Viking superhero Hrothgar was a storm of bloodshed and hugging and bloodshed.
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Forty Nine
He held the Necromonicon above his head and with a cry of horror told the world, “It's a scrapbook! A scrapbook!”
5 Second Fiction Seven Hundred and Fifty
Mike loudly announced, “I'm going to go tinkle.” and the rest of the biker bar fell silent.
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