Saturday, March 27, 2010

5 Second Fiction One Hundred And One Through One Hundred And Fifty

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and One

Mel talked his wife and her friend into dinner and a threesome. While he was getting ready they left without him.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Two

Whenever she heard something stupid Mary couldn't help but roll her eyes, her tenure on the board of directors was brief.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Three

In a quiet corner of the party she pressed close to him. He slipped off her glasses, threw them in the aquarium and escaped.



5 Second Ficton One Hundred and Four

He started seeing a psychologist to try and put an end to his womanizing ways. If only she hadn't been so hot.



5 Second Ficton One Hundred and Five

While many had tried to combine the arts of ballet and monster trucking no one could ever afford the insurance.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Six

Agent Krump laughed when his captors force fed him homemade burritos, and stopped when they wouldn't let him use the bathroom.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Seven

Captain Hero insisted, the new guy could call himself Amazing Ed, or Incredible Ed but Special Ed was out of the question.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Eight

That night Magwier sent Lorelei out to buy cocoa, she came back with a tattoo. Their relationship had communication issues.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Nine

She slit him open from belly to ribs, reached in and took hold of his beating heart. They had never known such intimacy.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Ten

It was a fear of heights that drove Kathy to try skydiving; it was an inability to follow instructions that killed her.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Eleven

Alex was thrilled to be taken aboard the alien craft, that ended when he learned of their human-sasquatch breeding program.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Twelve

The traps of the MurderMaze were no match for Psychotic Kid, then he reached the part where he had to spell 'Chrysanthemum'



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Thirteen

Special Agent Krump hated working with the Troy police, especially the guy that kept text messaging during stakeouts.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Fourteen

Vito 'the Icepick' didn't think that Hit Men should offer a low price guarantee but the marketplace was so competitive now.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Fifteen

Of all the monsters that attacked Japan, Phlegmra was the most disgusting.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Sixteen

Soft lighting, soft music, they leaned back on the couch, kissing slowly. For a while they both forgot this was goodbye.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Seventeen

Amazing Ed was weeping and curled into a ball. Captain Hero shook his head, “Didn't I tell you to wear a cup?”



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Eighteen

At long last Clawface's yearly slaughter of campers came to an end. Girl Scout Troop 1667 was not to be fucked with.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Nineteen

He turned his action film directorial sensibilities to the field of erotica and was promptly arrested.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Twenty

The hospice, the funeral, the wake... None of it felt real until the night she realized he had no one to argue with.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Twenty One

The virus left her with flatulence that sounded just like the first ten seconds of Van Halen’s 'Hot for Teacher'.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Twenty Two

The Warlords of Beta Pictoris teleported their advance guard into the midst of Gen-Con. All plans of invasion were scrapped.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Twenty Three

Once it was discovered that the he had been nude under the mascot suit counseling was made available to the cheerleaders.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Twenty Four

After the sixth mysterious editor fatality all hope for a Cliff's Notes for the Necromonicon were abandoned.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Twenty Five

The invention of the time machine was quickly followed by an escalating backwards series of patent lawsuits.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Twenty Six

They called this super-villain Overkill, mostly because he used power armor to rob fast food restaurants



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Twenty-Seven

Lions and tigers and bears- it was the strangest buffet ever.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Twenty Eight

During year one of the starship Persea's journey arguments over which Gilbert and Sullivan musical was best led to riots.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Twenty Nine

"I had sex with a vampire once," he confessed, "she just laid there..."



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Thirty

She had hoped a night with a movie star would be her life's main feature but it was all just another selected short.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Thirty One

"I killed a vampire once," JT bragged. "At least I think it was a vampire... I mean he was wearing a cape..."



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Thirty Two

"I'm a private eye and a gynecologist. I didn't know what Mother Superior wanted from me but I knew I wasn't gonna like it."



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Thirty Three

The Dolby virus was either fatal or it left you with the hairstyle you had in the 80's. The living envied the dead.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Thirty Four

No time traveller ever used the technology to become their own grandfather but it was a popular prank to play on friends.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Thirty Five

The accident left her aware of the things that slithered through the spaces between. Every glimpse was a blasphemy.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Thirty Six

Agent Krump bristled, "She's turning into a wild eyed sociopath!”

Agent Quinn corrected, "The term now is bridezilla."



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Thirty Seven

A tear in reality dropped a group of civil war reenactors into the midst of a

renaissance fair. Chaos ensued.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Thirty Eight

It was a town where hard liquor was cheap and soft water was mandatory.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Thirty Nine

He survived war, hunger and cancer. At 90 years old he bought his first computer and Windows Vista was the death of him.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Forty

Research found that dinosaurs had advanced technology but were too obsessed with social networking sites to avert their doom.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Forty One

In the end the only real difference between SpaceFleet Academy and the School of Wizardry was the snugness of the uniforms.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Forty Two

He sent her a series of highly erotic text messages, if only she hadn't loaned her cell phone to her mother that day.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Forty Three

He fell from the window into an industrial shredder. A crowd gathered around the remains. Someone asked, "Is he dead?"



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Forty Four

After all this time it was revealed- Rumpelstiltskin had simply been trying to form a boy band.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Forty Five

Matt Moran of the space patrol defeated the hairy squids from Planet X but everyone still mispelled his name as 'Moron'.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Forty Six

Once again the Brotherhood of Virtue saved the kindgom. With the princess restored to the throne, the embezzling continued.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Forty Seven

The worldwide crisis brought out heroes of science and magic. Captain Hero just stood there, hands on his utility belt.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Forty Eight

She had never intended to join the ranks of the undead but she had never been a morning person anyway.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Forty Nine

Even as he bled out Marty appreciated the irony that the Kevin Bacon zombie had torn his foot loose.



5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Fifty

At long last Gary waded out onto the dance floor and tried all the moves he had dreamed about. Sometimes dreams are better.


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