5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Fifty One
She hated the back columns of the newspaper, it was personal.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Fifty Two
Thalia got as many letters denouncing her as a pagan whore as she did requests for pictures. Sometimes from the same return address.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Fifty Three
Rusty Johnson didn't realize he'd chased Megaton Minotaur into quicksand until he started to get a sinking feeling.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Fifty Four
At the brothel you could pay extra for 'the girlfriend experience' or half price for 'the ex-wife ordeal'.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Fifty Five
They tried to have sex while parachuting but were blown off course.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Fifty Six
The actual motorcycle accident didn't upset him, flying into the back end of an open manure truck did.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Fifty Seven
Crimefighting luchador Fuego loved to relax with a sauna after a long day; his costume off, his mask still on.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Fifty Eight
Jason Magwier explained, "It is easy enough to summon angels and demons, but it isn't easy getting the angels to leave."
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Fifty Nine
Jason Magwier explained, "It is easy enough to summon angels and demons, but it isn't easy getting the angels to leave."
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Sixty
The Invisible Handyman used a special lacquer to varnish from sight.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Sixty One
The best thing about robot hookers was using the inbuilt ATM to pay for some ATM.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Sixty Two
They tried to have a Quality Assurance department for assassins but anyone that gave a bad evaluation was dead within 24 hours.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Sixty Three
His habit of saying "I dare you" resulted in two failed marriages, an arrest and an unfortunate tattoo.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Sixty Five
Hero or villain, if you made a wisecrack with the phrase "Quoth the-" in it the Maven gave you a beating.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Sixty Four
Amazing Ed's nemesis Angry Dan hinted at his crimes with strongly worded letters to the editor.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Sixty Six
It was obvious that Cletus didn't know anything about Hip Hop music when he showed up at the concert with a pogo stick.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Sixty Seven
Once perverted time travelers started traveling back in time to have sex with Neanderthals things started to get hairy.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Sixty Eight
The Cheerleaders of the Apocolypse made their way across the desert jeep that was heavily armored, and gaily streamered.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Sixty Nine
No one realized just how mad a scientist Professor Lindquist was until he started trying to get body parts off cragislist.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Seventy
The shuttle successfully brought the first cross-dresser into space, but upon re-entry there were problems with the drag chute.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Seventy One
There are stationary stores in Hell with all kinds of personalized cards but none of them have sympathy for the Devil.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Seventy Two
Gwen loved him from the moment she saw him, but she never saw him again.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Seventy Three
He tore open his shirt with a cry of "This is a job for Amazing Ed!" Then he realized he was already in costume.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Seventy Four
"Then, once I'm hooked on meth I'll wait until I withered away to my target BMI then I go to rehab. It's so crazy it might work!"
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Seventy Five
Melvin didn't know a dead athlete was haunting him until he awoke to the sensation of a ghostly scrotum resting on his cheek.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Seventy Six
Psychotic Kid couldn't wait for this year's master ninja convention, last year there had only been twenty survivors.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Seventy Seven
She'd lost count of the number of times she'd become distracted.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Seventy Six
He brought his razor sharp wit to college where he made short work of one dull course after another.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Seventy Eight
"I'm trapped," Magwier said, "trapped between the man I'm going to become and the man I could be. They're fighting for my soul."
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Seventy Nine
"It's an unwritten rule," Captain Hero explained, "the longer your fight crime, the more padding you add to your costume."
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Eighty
No one suspected that Fuego constantly wore a mask to hide his shameful past as an actor in direct to video family comedies.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Eighty One
He came in to work each morning full of enthusiasm, eager to face the day's challenges- and that was why his co-workers killed him.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Eighty Three
At first she was disturbed by her lover's foot fetish, then she realized her toes had never been more lint free.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Eighty Four
Commander Infinity reminded the members of the team to use the official battle cry. It was all about branding these days.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Eighty Five
In the 1950's Abner Deggent's manly, two-fisted adventures thrilled a nation; sadly many of them were reclassified as hate crimes.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Eighty Six
They found a way to make diamonds out of human hair but no one wanted a pubic zirconia.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Eighty Seven
"No going sky-clad," Judy said, "how does my bare ass have anything to do with magic?"
Lorelei shrugged, "Maybe a fear spell?"
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Eighty Eight
At first Thalia got criminals to surrender by offering sex, it was effective but it wreaked havoc with the rate of recidivism.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Eighty Nine
He really got into impersonating different celebrities on Twitter, within a year he had begun producing a movie with himself.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Ninety
Cyrborg redneck Rusty Johnson added a flame thrower attachment just in time to be the torchbearer for the Monster Truck Olympics.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Ninety One
He crashed his crotch rocket while trying to use an ear candle and barely escaped by the skin of his teeth.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Ninety Two
Bad enough the Maven had escaped from their deathtrap but then to find out she finished the NY Times Crossword first? And in PEN?
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Ninety Three
The water was cool and inviting; the lampreys well fed and used to the screams of skinny-dippers.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Ninety Four
It was a bad idea to loot the temple and set the cannibals on the warpath. But what else was there to do on this miserable island?
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Ninety Five
She was tired of it of her husband spending every free hour searching for UFOs and then coming to her at night asking to be probed.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Ninety Six
Throughout the 70's the Midnight Marvels protected River City only to be brought down by an avalanche of lawsuits in the late 80's.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Ninety Seven
After another attempt on her life Nikola Preceptor of the Greater Eastern Council of Mystagogues rethought her open door policy.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Ninety Eight
Her room at the hospice was filled with family, friends and admirers at all hours of the day but she still died alone. We all do.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred and Ninety Nine
“It's terrible!” Thalia said, “Captain Hero got distracted by the sight of Doomsday Girl tying her bootlace and drove into a wall.”
5 Second Fiction One Thousand
Once upon a time there was an author that wrote 1000 Five Second Fictions that made people happy and that made him very happy.
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