5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Fifty One
By now she was running on fumes but that was what happened when you ate seven burritos before a marathon.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Fifty Two
“Am I worried about facing the Juggler?” Captain Hero laughed, “No! He's got more balls than brains.”
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Fifty Three
“For the last time Judy,” Lorelei said, “being a Wiccan is more than not trimming your bush!”
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Fifty Four
Sherrie's wedding day turned out just as she imagined there was a fire, a limousine crash and she got a near fatal lung infection.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Fifty Five
Someone on the team should have realized that a surprise party for one of the world's greatest detectives was doomed to fail.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Fifty Six
If there was one thing Mark hated it was music, that was why he was the perfect radio programmer.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Fifty Seven
The round began, Reggie crapped in his hand and threw at his adversary. Xtreme Fighting had never been so extreme.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Fifty Eight
Zardek the Magnificent was a magician and an escape artist, naturally he had no trouble avoiding jury duty.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Fifty Nine
The CEO used a satellite video linkup from his private yacht to explain to the employees about his new cost cutting measures.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Sixty
Jason Magwier hated working alone because he had no one to be cryptic to.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Sixty One
He had a successful run starring in porn films but was soon forgotten as audiences moved on to the next big thing.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Sixty Two
In 2012 Apple introduced the edible online integrated iCecream, Apple fans just melted but there were some headaches.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Sixty Three
Buying the lingerie was easy, getting his wife to actually wear it for him? That was going to be tough.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Sixty Four
She was a sex symbol, but the symbol was the same as the one used for biohazards.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Sixty Five
“Demons...” Jason Magwier sneered with contempt, “the gold farmers of the supernatural world.”
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Sixty Six
Amazing Ed lay crumpled on the ground cursing himself for not remembering to throw his grapple line THEN leap from the rooftop.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Sixty Seven
Of all the tender deceptions, “If you loved me you would,” is the most dangerous.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Sixty Eight
The mobster with baggy pants shouted, “You gotta have some stones to be messin' with Vito the Scrote!”
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Sixty Nine
It was a summer romance and he swore he would never forget her but by the fall he could only remember her name.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Seventy
The boss might not have gotten all that upset at Scott for sleeping at his desk, but Scott liked to sleep in the nude.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Seventy One
A flask of tequila, a citronella candle and a hypoglycemic lady wrestler was all it took for Monica to lose her security deposit.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Seventy Two
Bad Dungeon Masters don't go to Hell, but they do have to live in their own campaign worlds.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Seventy Three
An evil villain with a body made of toxic waste was not unheard of, a body of toxic waste with an evil mind was something new.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Seventy Four
Sure they had told her to expect anything but she didn't know pirates knew how to use toboggans.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Seventy Five
Zeth hated not having some kind of handgun with him, knife fights were too bloody and unprofessional.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Seventy Six
Some of his days at work were busy and some were boozy and he didn't think much of the mornings after either.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Seventy Seven
The citizens of Stoneville were proud to have Frogman as their official superhero, they accepted him warts and all.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Seventy Eight
He had been in prison and he had been married with children, at least in prison he had a better chance of uninterrupted lovemaking.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Seventy Nine
It was easy enough for the Maven to capture the Crime Countess once she realized only one store in town sold leather bodysuits.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Eighty
“It's not a recipe for disaster,” Jason Magwier said, “more of a rough outline really.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Eighty One
Out of ammo they held the Nazi's off by throwing eggs. Such is the legend of Force Hen from Navarone.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Eighty Two
Again and again she complained to the Angels of the Lord that the Pagans were ruining the Rapture for everybody.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Eighty Three
Laser-Face, the man with the hologram head was a master of disguise with death ray eyes. See? His theme song practically writes itself.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Eighty Four
The most famous member of Emo Force had claws and super-healing. They called her 'the Cutter'.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Eighty Five
Special Agent Krump realized that being put in charge of 'Operation Nerf Dildo' proved he wasn't taken seriously.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Eighty Six
He was one of the rare individuals that considered a colonoscopy to be a form of sexual healing.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Eighty Seven
None of the Local Heroes liked dealing with vampires but they had become a seasonal problem after Great Undead Hoedown of 1975.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Eighty Eight
Judy Bauer didn't really have anything against the guy but how could you not taunt someone that had taken a vow of silence?
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Eighty Nine
It was a mild surprise to see a porn film starring someone she knew. It was a major surprise that the shop teacher was so limber.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Ninety
It wasn't that he wanted to get evicted but it was the only way he could get someone to help him move that damn folding couch.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Ninety One
There were no easy answers or simple solutions, too bad we were surrounded by idiots.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Ninety Two
Despite his frequent bouts of laryngitis he was the best equestrian trainer in the business, a veritable Hoarse Whisperer.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Ninety Three
A shoving match broke out between the girls, their corsages locked and suddenly dresses were in shreds. It was the best prom ever.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Ninety Four
It was fairly easy for Jason Magwier to visit someone in their dreams but he always ended up looking like his worst nightmare.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Ninety Five
Captain Hero found himself frighting alone against the worst of the Shellfish Gang; Overkrill, Johnny Crawdad and Fred Lobster.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Ninety Six
He had a 'never say' die attitude, which was perfect for a vampire.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Ninety Seven
No one in the Local Heroes minded a few wisecracks but Amazing Ed's constant quoting of Monty Python and the Holy Grail had to go.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Ninety Eight
He took two sleeping pills before deciding to pleasure himself. His wife never let him live down how she found him the next day.
5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Ninety Nine
It was later revealed that Willy Wonka won a bet with the Devil and melted the resulting golden fiddle down into five tickets.
5 Second Fiction Nine Hundred
Judy had a kind of radar that made her notice every douche-bag in the room and a kind of gravity that drew her to them.
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