Saturday, July 4, 2009

5 Second Fiction Seventy Eight

It wasn't that he had an eating disorder, it was just that the sight of half-digested food fascinated him.

5 Second Fiction Seventy Seven

"My faith gives me strength." Fuego explained to Captain Hero, "The sweet baby Jesus, he has a headlock on my soul."

5 Second Fiction Seventy Six

Zeth slipped and fell to the pavement. He thought to himself that if the mobsters didn't kill him these new shoes would.

5 Second Fiction Seventy Five

There were too many superheroes and too few supervillains. Most evil madmen kept to themselves now, or worked in marketing.

5 Second Fiction Seventy Four

The damn vampires are everywhere!" Lorelei said, "It's like an orgy of bad posture and crushed velvet."

5 Second Fiction Seventy Three

...but it was all just a dream. He wasn't an accountant- he was the Pendaroth gold eyed messiah of the Verge. How he wept.

5 Second Fiction Seventy Two

He roared,"I am the chosen of Kressor, the blade that cleaves worlds!" Mario Krump frowned, "That's not what your blog says."

5 Second Fiction Seventy One

Crime fighting luchador Fuego knew no fear because his secret identity was a substitute teacher.

5 Second Fiction Seventy

"The world could be unmade by Angels or Devils," Magwier explained, "But at least the Devils won't say 'I told you so'"

Recommendation: A jog in the park

My blogger pal J. Dane Tyler aka "Darcknyt" (although apparently the ladies call him "Tripod")has posted a new story that I found to be a very well done bit of horror/darkness. I think it fits very well in with the kind of story being published in CEMETERY DANCE these days.

A Jog In The Park

5 Second Fiction Sixty Nine

Special Agent Krump never read Edgar Allen Poe so when the trained orangutan attacked he had no frame of reference.

Friday, July 3, 2009

The Vault of Horror: Orphan: The Return of Killer Kids!

The Vault of Horror: Orphan: The Return of Killer Kids!

B-Sol shared with us the following trailer for a movie I had not yet heard of called ORPHAN.


Another movie I gotta see.

5 Second Fiction Sixty Eight

Her kisses were cold and wet, like a bus station toilet seat in wintertime.

5 Second Fiction Sixty Seven

His name was Bazooka Jim and he was the least subtle hitman ever. He was also wanted for copyright infringement.

5 Second Fiction Sixty Six

A tragic error during the parade left the authorities searching through the remains of floats and band instruments.

5 Second Fiction Sixty Five

Agent Krump compiled the statistics; the number of serial killers working in the tech support field was staggering.

5 Second Fiction Sixty Four

"Great power," Captain Hero said, "is great responsibility." Psychotic Kid replied, "We can be completely irresponsible!"

5 Second Fiction Sixty Three

He hated being a jester but loved the curly shoes.

5 Second Fiction Sixty Two

Lorelei was in an existential funk, so naturally she dyed her hair a shade of burgundy.

5 Second Fiction Sixty One

Bloodthirsty dachshunds surrounded Captain Hero and his sidekick. He shouted "Only submissive urination can save us now!"

5 Second Fiction Sixty

"There is this guy I met. He the most clueless, helpless person I ever met." Audra looked down at her shoes, "I miss him."

5 Second Fiction Fifty Nine

Magwier was not clairvoyant, he just remembered things that might happen. It made him terrible at chess but good at poker.

The trailer for TERROR AT BLOOD FART LAKE has destroyed my mind...

The blog Horror's Not Dead has cost me every single Sanity Point I have left with the trailer for TERROR AT BLOOD FART LAKE.

I want to see this movie but I know if I do I will never be able to UNSEE it...

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Price Breaks and Heartaches: part thirteen

The story you are looking for has been relocated and retooled.

If you can't find one of your favorite chapters don't worry, it'll be back!

Having a blast

I haven't been working on my blog much this week, I've mostly been spending time with my daughter. Summer vacation and all that, we've been having a good time with going swimming, video games and setting off fireworks in pre-July the 4th celebrations.

After living in New York for most of my life I have to admit that being in a place where you can buy fireworks at your local Wal Mart is quite a bit of culture shock. Not that we didn't have access to fireworks when I was growing up but they were traded like contraband.

I actually remember one fine summer getting into a firecracker war with my best friend, my best fiend and my best friend's hot hot sister. We were literally lighting entire clusters of firecrackers and hurling them at each other. When I think about it I'm amazed that I still have a full set of fingers to type to you with.

Of course with the way I spell and drop words you might think I'm missing fingers anyway.

The fireworks we used last night were fun, they didn't send fire hazards shooting into the air like a good old fashioned roman candle and didn't create deafening explosions like an M-80. These were just little boxes of gunpowder that sent released a little shower of sparks sensible, family friendly bangs.

They had amusing names like Sparkling Rose, Fiery Dragon, Patriotic Storm and Golden Shower.

Yes dear reader I actually held a box of minor explosives in my hand called Golden Shower. I can only assume that someone in the firework's factory was fired before he could finish designing the box logo for the dreaded Cleavland Steamer.

Anyway I hope to have some new material to share with you soon, and don't forget that the book two on my serial novel begins July 8th.

Will I be able to finish book three before book two ends?

The suspense- and the actual writing- is killing me.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

5 Second Fiction Fifty Eight

Mario Krump wondered to himself if he would ever blunder upon a group of attractive cultists engaging in orgiastic rites.

5 Second Fiction Fifty Seven

Captain Hero felt that the only thing worse than a mad scientist was passive aggressive one.

5 Second Fiction Fifty Six

For Gary going crazy felt just like falling in love and he didn't want to be medicated for either.